Clarity
The power of knowing what we know
A gift of the IFS process of learning how to listen to the many different perspectives, emotions, beliefs, and opinions of our internal parts is clarity.
Clarity is the ability to see situations and people without the lens of our extreme beliefs and emotions.
In IFS, we start on the inside. As soon as we are able to acknowledge the presence and validity of different points of view, our parts relax and open a clear lens through which we see the world. It is such a revolutionary idea—that it is normal and okay for many different voices and experiences to live inside of us, and that paradoxically, when we are present to this diversity, which may feel confusing at first, we access clarity.
As they tune into thier parts in session my clients will often say: “Ah, that makes sense.” Emotions and beliefs that on the surface seem incongruous or confusing become deeply understandable. There is palpable relief when we understand ourselves. It is visible—someone’s whole face and body relaxes.
I was once in a consultation with a new client and I spoke about the value of understanding yourself. This client told me that they were not interested in an “intellectual exercise.” I was able to communicate with them that my definition of “understanding” oneself may include intellectual understanding, but it is a deeply felt experience—body, mind, and emotions clicking together and suddenly appearing cohesive.
As our parts feel understood, as we see them more and more clearly, they open space for us to see the world and the people around us with more clarity. This brings us gifts of discernment and the ability to make better decisions.
One of the things I see getting in the way of my clients having this experience is when they dismiss moments of clarity.
Often, this is because of parts that hold fear.
The most common example is that someone has a deep and clear longing—a desire, a wish for their life. As soon as they contemplate that desire, parts jump in. Parts that think my client needs to know how to immediately make that desire real. Parts that are deeply afraid it is not possible for them. Parts that question their ability to even know their desires.
It can be so helpful to know that the simplicity of knowing is a valuable moment. That small piece of clarity—of knowing what we want—is ENOUGH. If we can accept our clarity and use the opportunity to get to know and support all the parts that get activated and scared, we will start to have access to more and more clarity, potentially the clarity that will reveal to us the how.
My question to you is to explore: is there clarity you have inside of you that is getting dismissed or ignored by your parts?
What would it be like if you spent a day noticing moments of clarity?
Knowing what you want to eat?
Knowing how you feel about someone?
Being able to contemplate an idea simply, from all sides?
How does clarity feel in your body?
In your mind?
In your heart?
I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments or chat.
If you’d like to get clear on the powerful experience of gratitude, join my online workshop on May 24th. We’ll expand and deepen our ability to experience the kind of unconditional gratitude that creates abundance in our lives.